Parenting Adolescents
Generation Gaps – Teenage Sub Culture
Where did the contemporary phenomenon of the idea of “teenager” (isolated from parents and adults by generation gaps) come from?
It didn’t exist prior to World War II. If you read older publications or talk with people living before WW II teenagers were often referred to as boys, girls, kids, young people, adolescents, and youths.
In the 1934 Webster’s dictionary - only the adjective “teen-age” is listed. It was a word used simply to describe someone in a particular stage in life: a “teen-age” girl, as opposed to a “middle-age” man. Not until his 1961 Webster’s is “teenager” used as a noun. So what happened during those 27 years that changed society’s view of adolescents?
The idea of “teenager” came into being as youths, over a period of time, drifted further and further from adults. As they were left to spend more and more unsupervised time with their peers, an entire subculture was born with its own styles and music. Even the increasing availability of the automobile helped further transport youths away from older generations to be with their peers. You could say that the separation of the generations helped create teenagers.
Look at the classic films of James Dean, especially in “Rebel Without A Cause”, where “Jimmy” had to face his life’s trials alone due to his contumacious mother and helpless father. Also, books like “Catcher in the ” where the character Salinger taught young readers to trust no one over 14. Rock and Roll music coming on the scene in the 50s became the music of the “teenage subculture.” I even read a quote attributed to rocker David Crosby expressing how some have made it their goal to rip parents and teens apart:
“I figured that the only thing to do was steal their kids. I still think it’s the only thing to do. By saying that, I’m not talking about kidnapping; I’m just talking about changing people’s value systems, which removes them from their parents’ world very effectively.”
I. Parenting Adolescents.
A. Our goals and standards we are to strife for must have their origins in word of God.
God’s goal for us is to love Him with all our heart, soul, mind, and strength. What we call radical
Christianity is often just normal Christianity in the Bible.
We cannot afford to always look to what is acceptable standards in normal society or even normal
Christian society because there isn’t always the same goals in them. Nominal Christianity isn’t
interested in loving God with all their heart, soul, mind, and strength.
B. One of the biggest challenges our adolescents face that can sidetrack them from pursuing God’s goal
for life is the area of male female relationships.
There are two great forces which combined create havoc during adolescence and make it such a
powerfully dangerous time.
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Hormones - Science and experience tells us that there is tremendous biochemical changes that occur during puberty. Much like severe premenstrual syndrome in females. It affects their personality, their drives, desires, etc.
-
The social awakening - The influence of the peer group becomes one of the most important factors
in their life. The move from the parent being the most dominate influence to their peers becoming
the most dominant influence.
The whole issue of male female relationships is connected to both of these things.
The place where many Christian parents tend to mess up it is in their approach to male female relationships with their children specifically the area of Casual Dating.
II. Casual Dating in our society.
Casual - Dictionary - happening by chance, without definite or serious intention, uncertain.
A. How the casual dating game works in our society.
You see someone of the opposite sex you feel a romantic or lustful attraction towards, so you arrange
a time and setting to spend close intimate time together.
Much like our relationship with cars. We see a car we are attracted to we want to figure out a way to
ride in it. Test drive, lease it, or buy it.
The usual course of a casual dating relationship - Go date the person you are attracted to for a period of time until you get tired of them, don’t feel attracted to them any more, or you find someone you are
more attracted to. Can be big problems with this “breaking up is hard to do”
B. Reasons our society gives for casual dating.
1. Getting to know members of the opposite sex. It provides a setting for this
2. Companionship/social companionship. Certain types of events it is more socially acceptable to have a companion of the opposite sex at them.
3. Help us find the person we want to marry. If we date enough people we will get an idea of the type
of person we want to marry, and find the right one.
4. Peer pressure. Dating, and having a boyfriend and girlfriend, helps you fit in better with your peers.
5. Hormone stimulation and fulfillment. The desire to stimulate and fulfill the romantic and sensual capacities in our lives.
Probably the most predominate reason is Number 4 and 5.
C. Why Christians need to stop and take a look at our cultural idea of casual dating.
1. Dating is not a Biblical idea. It wasn’t a biblical practice.
3 levels of relating with members of the opposite sex in the Bible.
-Friendship/fellowship, brother and sister
-Courtship - Espousal/Betrothal, heading toward marriage.
-Marriage.
2. Dating is not a universal practice - In many cultures the idea of a boy and girl arranging a series of
times to get together alone for whatever purpose would be considered taboo. Most of these cultures
when compared to the have much mores stable marriages.
3. Statistics of High School students - In polls regarding pre marital sex there is little and in many cases no difference between students that come from Christian as opposed to non Christian homes.
4. Our own personal experience. Many young people who were at times on fire for God when they got involved with relationships with the wrong person or before they were ready ended up losing their spiritual vitality and in some cases falling away. My personal experience as youth group leader and police officer.
5. The youth group plague - Anyone who has had any experience working with youth groups knows the issue. When they casually date and break up it also breaks up relationships.
III. Problems with Casual Dating as we know it.
1. It puts youth in a dangerous position to violate God’s order.
2. It works against the Biblical Design for fellowship.
3. It has little responsible direction. Casual dating.
A. It puts you in a dangerous position to violate God’s order.
God’s order - Intimacy, romance, and sensual love are to find their fulfillment in the context of Biblical love/commitment with the person we marry.
God’s design - Purity before marriage, and fidelity/loyalty after marriage.
1. Romantic love
Romance - A fictitious tale of wonderful and extraordinary events, characterized by much
imagination and idealization; without basis of fact; an exaggeration of falsehood. Preoccupied
with love or idealized love.
Romantic love - A feeling of excitement and attraction towards one of the opposite sex. It is a feeling
of exhilaration based more on the emotions, hormones, and imagination (idealized love) rather than reality of fact. Infatuation.
2. Sensual love
Sensual love - Has to do with the gratification of the senses or appetites. Attraction that is centered
around physical or sensory attraction. Has to do more with the element of lust.
Jas 3:15, Jude 19, Eph 4:17-19, Rom 1:24-28, 2 Pet 2:7-12
We have the capacity to experience both types of love. And God isn’t against it of it is in the right
context. Fire is designed for the fireplace. Romance, sex, intimacy are designed to find their ultimate
expression in the committed relationship of marriage. Song of Solomon
The problem is that we can have romantic and sensual love stirred up with a variety of people of the
opposite sex.
It is a poor foundation to build a lasting relationship on.
As a parent when you allow young people who normally have raging hormones to casually spend intimate time with the opposite sex and expect them to control themselves is ridiculous irresponsibility.
Understand the law of diminished returns when it comes to intimate time.
The principle of sowing and reaping. If we allow these things to go on in our children they will reap certain things
If sex is involved
-Defile the marriage bed - Heb 13:4 Lose virginity, even if it is just some type of petting you are taking
something that was to be reserved for the marriage bed and using it.
-Teen pregnancy
-Forced marriages - the divorce rate is higher for forced marriages.
-Guilt from sin.
-Later sexual dysfunction in marriage. Many sexual problems after marriage can stem from learning
sex by sin before marriage.
If sex is not involved
-Wounded feelings when you break up. Breaking up is hard to do. You share intimate parts of you life
with someone then get emotionally scarred. Prostituting your emotions.
These are often the very things that lead to depression and suicide.
B. It works against the Biblical design for fellowship.
It’s okay as long as their Christians fallacy.
God’s order for relationships 1) fellowship 2) courtship 3) marriage. God desires us to have a brother
sister relationship with those we aren’t married to.
1 Timothy 5:1-2 1 Do not sharply rebuke an older man, but rather appeal to him as a father, to the younger men as brothers, 2 the older women as mothers, and the younger women as sisters, in all purity. (NASB)
When you get intimate with someone and break up there will always be hurt feelings. We can still
be friends fallacy.
The fractured youth group syndrome.
C. It has little responsible direction. Casual dating
The only aim is to stir up and satisfy the hormonal attraction that has been moved.
Romance, intimacy, sex are designed to find their fulfillment in marriage. If your adolescent isn’t
ready to move towards marriage why put them in a compromising situation.
“Just say no” isn’t always responsible parenting. Setting a bowl of ice cream in front of them and then tell them to just say no if they feel like eating it is irresponsibility.
IV. Direction for Adolescent male female relationships.
A. Direct them toward group activities and keep things in a group context.
Helps keep things on a friendship level
Less chance for flesh to get into the way
If they are of the right age to consider moving toward marriage, it seems to be God’s will, and parents
confirm it they can move to a more intimate arrangement.
B. Avoid the boyfriend girlfriend game. Parents be parents.
V. Scriptural responsibilities of parents to children in the home.
Deuteronomy 6:7-9 7 and you shall teach them diligently to your sons and shall talk of them when you sit in your house and when you walk by the way and when you lie down and when you rise up. 8 “And you shall bind them as a sign on your hand and they shall be as frontals on your forehead. 9 “And you shall write them on the doorposts of your house and on your gates. (NASB)
Deuteronomy 11:18-19 18 “You shall therefore impress these words of mine on your heart and on your soul; and you shall bind them as a sign on your hand, and they shall be as frontals on your forehead. 19 “And you shall teach them to your sons, talking of them when you sit in your house and when you walk along the road and when you lie down and when you rise up. (NASB)
Deuteronomy 32:46 46 he said to them, “Take to your heart all the words with which I am warning you today, which you shall command your sons to observe carefully, even all the words of this law. (NASB)
Psalm 78:5-6 5 For He established a testimony in Jacob, And appointed a law in Israel, Which He commanded our fathers, That they should teach them to their children, 6 That the generation to come might know, even the children yet to be born, That they may arise and tell them to their children, (NASB)
Proverbs 19:18 18 Discipline your son while there is hope, And do not desire his death. (NASB)
Proverbs 3:12 12 For whom the LORD loves He reproves, Even as a father, the son in whom he delights. (NASB)
Proverbs 13:24 24 He who spares his rod hates his son, But he who loves him disciplines him diligently. (NASB)
Proverbs 22:6 6 Train up a child in the way he should go, Even when he is old he will not depart from it. (NASB)
Proverbs 22:15 15 Foolishness is bound up in the heart of a child; The rod of discipline will remove it far from him. (NASB)
Proverbs 23:13 13 Do not hold back discipline from the child, Although you beat him with the rod, he will not die. (NASB)
Proverbs 29:15 15 The rod and reproof give wisdom, But a child who gets his own way brings shame to his mother. (NASB)
Proverbs 29:17 17 Correct your son, and he will give you comfort; He will also delight your soul. (NASB)
Ephesians 6:4 4 And, fathers, do not provoke your children to anger; but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord. (NASB)
1 Timothy 3:4-5 4 He must be one who manages his own household well, keeping his children under control with all dignity 5 but if a man does not know how to manage his own household, how will he take care of the church of God?; (NASB)
Hebrews 12:7 7 It is for discipline that you endure; God deals with you as with sons; for what son is there whom his father does not discipline? (NASB)
VI. Biblical Responsibility of parents in the home.
A. God’s order of authority in the home. We see order and authority in the Trinity.
The father is the head over the family; and his wife work as a team to oversee the lives of the
children. The children are accountable to both father and mother for their actions. The father
and mother support each other and speak with one voice in all aspects of raising children.
B. Children’s responsibility to parents in the home.
Children are to honor their parents.
Ephesians 6:2-3 2 Honor your father and mother which is the first commandment with a promise, 3 that it may be well with you, and that you may live long on the earth. (NASB)
Children are to obey their parents
Colossians 3:20 20 Children, be obedient to your parents in all things, for this is well-pleasing to the Lord.
C. Parents main job is in the area of training them in Biblical values.
Proverbs 22:6 6 Train up a child in the way he should go, Even when he is old he will not depart from it.
2 Timothy 3:16-17 16 All Scripture is inspired by God and profitable for teaching, for reproof, for correction, for training in righteousness; 17 that the man of God may be adequate, equipped for every good work. (NASB)
What the 2 Timothy approach to training involves
-Teaching doctrine
-Reproof or rebuking - All children have sin nature. Parents need to point out differences between
what is of sin nature and what is God’s ways.
-Correction - Attitudes and behavior that goes against God’s ways after having been reproved with
no change need to be corrected. This is where discipline comes in. We need to insist our children
change their attitudes and behavior.
-Instruction or training in righteousness - The is the culmination of what teaching, reproof, and correction brings to the life of our child.
VII. Parenting Adolescence.
A. Understand the nature of the adolescent time of life.
There are three great forces which combined create havoc during the adolescent time of life
- Hormones - Science and experience tells us that there is tremendous biochemical changes
that occur during puberty. Much like the premenstrual syndrome in females.
2. The social awakening - the influence of the peer group becomes the most important factors in their
life. They move from the parents being the dominant influence to their peers.
3. Intellectual shift - They become more intelligent and see things different. They begin to think more on their own. They form opinions because problem solving techniques are growing.
Adolescent period of time is much like the tension in the early space program. When the spaceship
enters the atmosphere it is very dangerous and you lose contact with it for 7 minutes. For that time you don’t know if they are going to make it or not. They are going through a period of tremendous
dangerous heat.
B. Getting the monkey off the back of parents.
We live in an age where parents have been hamstrung by the idea of determinism in our society. It
in some ways has become a plague on parenting..
Determinism - All behavior is caused, a child chooses nothing, he merely responds to experiences.
The rise in the psychological field of so called experts tend to want to place the parents in one way
or another as the cause of anything that can conceivably go wrong with children.
Our society has gotten caught up in this idea of blame. People keep busy in an illusion of trying to
always know the cause of something which seems to lessen responsibility for facing our wrong behavior. Making everyone feel like helpless victims is unproductive.
Things parents of adolescents seem to constantly battle with.
-Guilt. What have I done? If I could only do it over again.
-Fear. What if I can’t keep them away from that crowd, or activity?
-Apathy. They are on their own now. Kids are going to sow their wild oats, we just need to let them
do it.
-Hopelessness. Its too late, there is nothing more I can do.
-Divorced parent syndorme. We have already caused enough pain in our children because of the
divorce. I don’t want to make thier life any more miserable by being too strict.
Things that parents need to realize to get the monkey off their backs.
-Parents are people too. We are not perfect and make mistakes. This is not an effort to excuse our
mistakes but to realize our imperfections and not be hamstrung by the perfect parent syndrome.
We need to operate in the Biblical directives when we make mistakes, confession and forgiveness,
and then get back to the task of parenting.
-Realize your limitations. We all want the best possible life for our children yet we can’t get caught up in the super parent syndrome. Parents material and emotional resources are limited. Our young
people need to learn this. The best clothes are not the fundamental right or a necessity.
-You are the parent and teens are not. You are the parent and the manager of your home. God’s
authority in the home is with the parents. It is in the nature of children to challenge authority but
that is no cause for you to become insecure. Parents have different roles than children. Parents are
in charge. Don’t allow yourself to get into manipulative arguments with your teens that go
nowhere. You, not your teens have been given the authority and have the wisdom to judge in your home.
C. It isn’t a time for parents to become chickens.
The sad legacy of Eli and his sons in
1 Samuel 3:13 13 “For I have told him that I am about to judge his house forever for the iniquity which he knew, because his sons brought a curse on themselves and he did not rebuke them. (NASB)
Gill: and he restrained them not; from their evil practices; he did not make use of his authority, neither as a father, and especially not as high priest, and the judge of Israel, who ought not only to have sharply reproved them, which he did not, but to have censured or punished them, and turned them out of their office: “or did not frown upon them” (t), as in the margin of our Bibles; he did not knit his brows, or wrinkle up his face, and by his countenance show his displeasure at their proceedings, but in an easy, smooth, gentle manner, expostulated with them about them.
: He restrained them not - He did not use his parental and juridical authority to curb them, and prevent the disorders which they committed. See at the conclusion of the chapter,
In this chapter we read again of the fearful consequences of a neglected religious education. Eli’s sons were wicked: their father knew the Lord; but he neither taught his children, nor restrained them by his parental authority. I have already had occasion to remark, that were a proper line of conduct pursued in the education of children, how few profligate sons and daughters, and how few broken-hearted parents should we find! The neglect of early religious education, connected with a wholesome and affectionate restraint, is the ruin of millions. Many parents, to excuse their indolence and most criminal neglect, say, “We cannot give our children grace.” What do they mean by this? That God, not themselves, is the author of the irregularities and viciousness of their children. They may shudder at this imputation: but when they reflect that they have not given them right precepts, have not brought them under firm and affectionate restraint; have not showed them, by their own spirit, temper, and conduct, how they should be regulated in theirs; when either the worship of God has not been established in their houses, or they have permitted their children, on the most trifling pretenses, to absent themselves from it; when all these things are considered, they will find that, speaking after the manner of men, it would have been a very extraordinary miracle indeed if the children had been found preferring a path in which they did not see their parents conscientiously tread. Let those parents who continue to excuse themselves by saying, “We cannot give grace to our children,” lay their hand on their conscience, and say whether they ever knew an instance where God withheld his grace, while they were, in humble subserviency to him, performing their duty. The real state of the case is this: parents cannot do God’s work, and God will not do theirs; but if they use the means, and train up the child in the way he should go, God will not withhold his blessing.
It is not parental fondness, nor parental authority, taken separately, that can produce this beneficial effect. A father may be as fond of his offspring as Eli, and his children be sons of Belial; he may be as authoritative as the grand Turk, and his children despise and plot rebellion against him. But let parental authority be tempered with fatherly affection; and let the rein of discipline be steadily held by this powerful but affectionate hand; and there shall the pleasure of God prosper; there will he give his blessing, even life for evermore. Many fine families have been spoiled, and many ruined, by the separate exercise of these two principles. Parental affection, when alone, infallibly degenerates into foolish fondness; and parental authority frequently degenerates into brutal tyranny when standing by itself. The first sort of parents will be loved without being respected; the second sort will be dreaded, without either respect or esteem. In the first case obedience is not exacted, and is therefore felt to be unnecessary, as offenses of great magnitude pass without punishment or reprehension: in the second case, rigid exaction renders obedience almost impossible; and the smallest delinquency is often punished with the extreme of torture, which, hardening the mind, renders duty a matter of perfect indifference.
Parents, lay these things to heart: remember Eli and his sons; remember the dismal end of both! Teach your children to fear God, use wholesome discipline, be determined, begin in time, mingle severity and mercy together in all your conduct, and earnestly pray to God to second your godly discipline with the power and grace of his Spirit.
Education is generally defined that series of means by which the human understanding is gradually enlightened, and the dispositions of the heart are corrected, formed, and brought forth, between early infancy and the period when a young person is considered as qualified to take a part in active life. Whole nations have been corrupted, enfeebled, and destroyed, through the want of proper education: through this multitudes of families have degenerated; and a countless number of individuals have come to an untimely end. Parents who neglect this, neglect the present and eternal interests of their offspring.
1 Samuel 2:23 NASB He said to them, “Why do you do such things, the evil things that I hear from all these people?
Gill: As to impose upon the people that bring their offerings, by taking more than is due, and in a very indecent and imperious manner; and especially to defile the women when they came to worship: these were very scandalous sins, and deserved a more severe reprimand, and indeed a greater chastisement than by mere words; Eli should have rebuked them more sharply, and laid open the evil of their doings, and as a judge punished them for them:
for I hear of your evil doings by all this people; the inhabitants of Shiloh, or who came thither to worship, who were continually making their complaints to Eli; which still shows his backwardness to reprove them in the manner he did until he was obliged to it by the continual remonstrances of the people against the practices of his sons; he did not attend to the information he had from a few persons, until it became general.
Legacy of David and Adonijah
1 Kings 1:6 NASB His father had never crossed him at any time by asking, “Why have you done so?” And he was also a very handsome man, and he was born after Absalom.
nijah made himself king. David probably didn’t finish well by making know to his wives and sons who he desired to be king after him.
Gill: 1Ki 1:6 - And his father had not displeased him at any time,…. Always humoured him in everything, let him have his own way and will, and granted him what he desired, and never corrected him for his faults, or made him ashamed, as the Targum, by telling him of them, and chastising him for them; this was not to the credit of David, being guilty of the same sin with Eli; and on this Adonijah presumed much, that he would not contradict and countermand in this as he had not in other things before:
Henry: His father had made a fondling of him, 1Ki_1:6. He had not displeased him at any time. It is not said that he never displeased his father; it is probably that he had done so frequently, and his father was secretly troubled at his misconduct and lamented it before God. But his father had not displeased him, by crossing him in his humours, denying him any thing he had a mind to, or by calling him to an account as to what he had done and where he had been, or by keeping him to his book or his business, or reproving him for what he saw or heard of that he did amiss; he never said to him, Why hast thou done so? because he saw it was uneasy to him, and he could not bear it without fretting. It was the son’s fault that he was displeased at reproof and took it for affront, whereby he lost the benefit of it; and it was the father’s fault that, because he saw it displeased him, he did not reprove him; and now he justly smarted for indulging him. Those who honour their sons more than God, as those do who keep them not under good discipline, thereby forfeit the honour they might expect from their sons.
Sad Legacy of Hezekiah
2 Kings 20:17-19 NASB ‘Behold, the days are coming when all that is in your house, and all that your fathers have laid up in store to this day will be carried to Babylon; nothing shall be left,’ says the LORD. 18 ‘Some of your sons who shall issue from you, whom you will beget, will be taken away; and they will become officials in the palace of the king of .’” 19 Then Hezekiah said to Isaiah, “The word of the LORD which you have spoken is good.” For he thought, “Is it not so, if there will be peace and truth in my days?”
For the sake of peace Hezekiah sacrificed his son’s future in God.
No parents are perfect, they all make mistakes, yet they are still parents by God’s design.
Parents have the responsibility to be parents. You raise your children in the best possible way you can. Your children when they get older bear the responsibility for the decisions they make.
Ezek 18:1-4
Ezekiel 18:20 20 “The person who sins will die. The son will not bear the punishment for the father’s iniquity, nor will the father bear the punishment for the son’s iniquity; the righteousness of the righteous will be upon himself, and the wickedness of the wicked will be upon himself. (NASB)
Parents are responsible for the standards that are enforced in the home. It is not your kid’s home it
is your home. It takes courage to enforce standards of the home on adolescents. You are in charge
not your children.
Parents need to take stands. You determine what is and is not allowed in your home. If you don’t do
this there is the potential for destructive adolescents to destroy the rest of your home (other children,
the parents marriage etc).
Don’t be afraid of crisis. The Chinese have symbol for the English word crisis that is made with two
characters: one stands for danger and the other for opportunity. We tend to focus too much on the
danger but ignore the opportunity. There is the opportunity in a crisis to deal with things that would
normally be untouched.
C. Suggestions for raising adolescents
1. Take advantage of the community support of the Church. God has placed in the church many
mothers and fathers. We need to support, encouragement, counsel, and admonishment of our
brothers and sisters in the Lord. We also need other parents who help us with our teens when
we are not around. That is why we need to work together.
2. Boredom is dangerous to energetic teenagers, keep them moving.
Don’t be afraid to have them serve.
3. Don’t be afraid to require responsibility in the family.
Your home is the first place your teens learn important concepts of family in the Kingdom. Parents need to insist that all members cooperate for the good of the family. Doing your own thing based
on your own self interest is anti Kingdom and anti family. In your home your teens learn the
Biblical principle of losing your life for Christ sake in order to find.
It gives them self esteem to accomplish things and learn to do things well
We need to prepare them for leaving the home, going into adulthood. They learn this by serving
around the house
4. Relationships are always job one in the Kingdom.
Make it a priority to build relationships with your teen even though it might seem impossible.
In an environment of love look for those times to stimulate communication with them. Don’t make
it clinical or programmed they will see through that. Take initiative and look for times to talk one
on one with them taking an interest in their life, thoughts, and feelings.
Express your love to them even if it seems like they don’t receive it. The Biblical principal of
accepting and loving one another like Christ does to us is important to keep in mind here. Jesus
constantly expressed His love and desire for relationship with mankind. Let them know they are
special to you.
Sociologists refer to our adolescents as Generation X, the angry generation. One of the things they
seem to be so messed up about is that they were denied healthy relationships due to the self
centeredness of the Baby Boom generation who raised them. God is a restorer of generations. Real
Christ centered relationships do much to bring restoration.
5. Don’t rock the boat. Don’t major on minors.
It is easy to get caught up in the perfectionist parent trap causing you to overreact to things.
You have to choose your battles.
If you overreact to issues that aren’t life and death things you can rock the already rocky boat you
adolescent is on.
Pierced ears, shaving their legs, first bra. Don’t make big battles over non essentials
6. Father’s step forward.
There is a reason you have a larger size, a deeper voice, and a masculine demeanor. It better makes
you deal with the defiance of a younger generation.
Don’t dump discipline responsibility totally on your wife.
You are highly influential on your sons and daughters during that time. Think of common things
you can do with your sons hobbies etc to take the strain off of the tense times. Spend time with your daughters. There are times when you need to smooth the tension with your wife and teenage
daughters. There is often tension between ladies in the same house.
7. Be firm with tough cases.
You don’t need to cower down to your strong willed child. Quit apologizing.
Anguishing, guilt-ridden parents become hamstrung. Love often is often tough.
There was a permissive method of child rearing that originated in the 40s with writings of people such as Benjamin Spock. It blossomed in the 50s, and in the 60s it gained total respectability. This is
the legacy of parenting on the Baby boomers.
Parenting isn’t for cowards. We need to make demands on our teens and stick with them in spite of
all their defiant accusations. Be firm yet in control.
You are the boss and the sooner and younger your children understand this the better.