Slide 1
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Fighting Fair
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Turning Conflict to Growth
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A BIBLICAL GUIDE TO MARITAL CONFLICT RESOLUTION
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Slide 2
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What We Will Cover
oO2
Communication
Introduction
Mutual Repair
Patterns
10 biblical
strategies for
healthy conflict
communication
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Slide 3
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Defining Marital Conflict
What is Conflict?
Marital conflict refers to disagreements,
misunderstandings, tensions, or struggles arising
between spouses due to differences in opinions,
expectations, values, needs, personalities, or
communication styles.
Key Insi
ht
Conflict itself is not sinful. How we handle it
determines whether it strengthens or weakens
the marriage.
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Slide 4
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NTRODU
xen
ee
Defining Marital Conflict
35 =
Two Outcomes of Conflict
¥.
~~
¢ Growth & deeper understanding
e Maturity & unity
¢ Stronger relationship
e Bitterness & distance
¢ Broken relationships
Se
e Resentment
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Slide 5
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| aNTRODUC TION
Conflict in Scripture
The Bible honestly presents marital conflict — it is not a modern problem.
Adam & Eve
Abraham & Sarah
Jealousy & poor decisions
Blame shifting & broken
under pressure
trust
Jacob, Rachel & Leah
Rivalry & competition
for affection
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Slide 6
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SECTI
1
INTRODUCTION
Conflict in Scripture
The Bible honestly presents marital conflict — it is not a modern problem.
Gen 25; 27
Job 2:9-10
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Slide 7
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SECTION 2
Conflict Communication
Patterns
“Christian marital conflict resolution is not
about winning arguments
but about preserving unity, honoring God,
and strengthening the marriage.”
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Slide 8
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10 Healthy Patterns (1—5)
Active Listening
Gentle & Respectful
@
Listen carefully without interrupting.
Avoid insults and shouting. Use calm tones
Maintain eye contact, paraphrase, seek to
and address issues without attacking
understand before responding.
character.
“I” Statements
S
Say “I feel unheard when I am
interrupted” instead of “You never listen
to me.” Reduces defensiveness.
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Slide 9
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10 Healthy Patterns (1—5)
Prayer-Centered
@
Invite God into the conversation. Pray before
difficult discussions and after disagreements.
Forgiveness
©
Admit wrongs sincerely, apologize without
excuses, and release bitterness.
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Slide 10
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10 Healthy Patterns (6—10)
Problem-Focused
Emotional Self-Control
Treat the conflict as the problem, not the
Pause before reacting. Take breaks when
spouse. Ask: “How can we solve this together?’
emotions run high, then return calmly.
Honest Communication
“Speak the truth in love.’ Express concerns
honestly; avoid passive aggression.
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Slide 11
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10 Healthy Patterns (6—10)
Empathy & Compassion
Validate feelings, show concern for emotional
pain, and avoid minimizing your spouse’s
experiences.
Seek Wise Counsel
Involve trusted mentors or pastors
when conflicts persist. Stay teachable
and humble.
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Slide 12
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SECTION 3
Mutual Repair
After the conflict — rebuilding the connection
Conflict itself is normal in marriage. What predicts
relationship strength is how couples repair after
conflict.
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Slide 13
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What Mutual Repair Looks Like
7@*
i Pause before saying
e “IT see why that upset
you.”
something harmful
e “T didn’t mean to
e Lower tone and
defensiveness
dismiss you.”
e Use gentle humor
e Offer reassurance
e Touch hands or sit closer
e “We’re on the same team.”
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Slide 14
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What Mutual Repair Looks Like
Rebuild Connection
e Check in later
¢ Clarify misunderstandings
¢ Follow through on changes
JS Take Responsibility
e “IT could have handled that
better.”
e “T was listening to respond,
not understand.”
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Slide 15
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Why Repair Matters
e Resentment builds over
e Trust recovers faster after
time
disagreements
¢ Conflicts become less
¢ Misunderstandings harden
into fixed narratives
damaging over time
¢ Emotional safety decreases
¢ Partners feel emotionally
secure even during conflict
in the relationship
Example – Repair in Action: I am getting defensive, but I want to understand. Can we
restart? – Okay. I will explain differently, and I do not want us attacking each other. –
The couple shifts from winning the argument to repairing the relationship.
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Slide 16
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SECTION
AIR
UTUAL
For Repair to Work — It Must Be Mutual
Repair fails when one person carries all the emotional labor.
Mutual Repair Means
Repair Fails When…
Both…
¢ One partner always apologizes
¢ Both regulate their own emotions
¢ One partner pursues while the other
¢ Both try to understand the other’s
withdraws indefinitely
perspective
¢ One person demands repair while
¢ Both protect the relationship during
refusing accountability
conflict
Note: Mutual does not mean both are equally at fault in every
disagreement. It means both participate in restoring the connection.
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Slide 17
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Key Takeaways
Py!
Fighting Fair
Conflict is normal — and even beneficial —
hi
when handled with humility and love.
wD
Healthy communication patterns rooted in
Scripture reduce harm and build trust.
Mutual repair after conflict is what predicts
long-term relationship strength.
Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, |
vis
tiiFTias
just as in Christ God forgave you. – Ephesians 4:32
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